When Your 20s Aren’t What You Expected

…Kinda a harsh truth to read, am I right? We all grow up with the fantastical idea of what our young 20s are going to be. And I’m here to tell you that it’s all a lie. Well, some of it.

(I’ll also say, this sounds dramatic since I’m only 3 years into my 20s, but 3 years is enough credibility, right?)

I’m sitting at my desk, two screens in front of me, thinking about everything I was told my 20s would be at this point. THE most attractive, 6’0ft, athletic, smart, ambitious men would be pawning for me bar-side; I’d be making $100k in my 9-5; walking into my work office wearing heels and a pant-suit like a boss ass bitch; I am fit and toned, yet still going out 4 nights a week. Smiling always. My vision captured it all, and she had it all. Ok, I know this is kind of aggressive, and extremely unrealistic, but this is genuinely the vision I had of my 20s growing up, and I’m pretty sure I’m not alone on this one.

I had written that paragraph a few weeks ago, and honestly, I needed to sit on it. Why? Because I still don’t have the answers for how to overcome the disappointment of these fantasies not becoming reality. But maybe fantasies aren’t reality for a reason. Fantasies don’t show you the hard work that goes into self-improvement, the hard work that goes into making that $100k salary, the hard work that even goes into socializing and going out 4 nights a week. The hard work at being fit and toned. They call them fantasies for a reason: they are impossible or improbable, and in this case, the “fantastical 20s” are impossible or improbable–without putting in a lot of work.

I think that’s the harsh truth at its core: you can technically attain that fantasy, but you need to put in a lot of work. (I’m still figuring out how to have THE most attractive, 6’0ft, athletic, smart, ambitious man approach me at a bar, but that’s for a later time). I think especially for the younger generation, hearing that we need to put in work is for some reason extremely daunting. Boomers would make fun of us for fearing work. But I don’t think it is work that we fear; it’s disappointment. Of putting in the work and still not achieving our goals. What if I go to the gym 7 times a week, but I’m still not fit and toned? What if I work extremely hard at a 9-5 (and probably more hours than that), but I’m still not making $100k or feeling fulfilled at my job? What if I push myself to socialize and go out 4 nights a week, but I’m still not finding my place? We fear the disappointment of doing the work, yet not achieving. We are a generation of achievers at our cores, yet fearers of disappointment. Quite the contradiction.

This isn’t supposed to give you any answers. I sure don’t have any. I would consider this post as more “food for thought:” how can we overcome that fear of disappointment? How can we transform fantasy into reality while acknowledging the hard work that is put into it? I’m on a mission to figure this out, and will keep you updated on that journey.